♥ STICK WITH ME.

Life hasn't so great for me. Today's day sucked big time. I don't know why. But it sucked. Maybe cause of lessons and stuffs. Blah, I don't know.

I shall not blog about the past few days cause I kinda forgot what happened. Oh well. But right now, I'm feeling all fucked up and bored.

And friends will help friends. I'm not saying this for fun, but there's a reason. Saw Ash today and went to slack with jy at the stairs. Talked about Spenc. Yah right, for months, he's been talking about it. I believe. After telling me about Jurong one, or Tp one. How to believe?

Afterall, I still don't understand guys. I don't understand myself either. I don't even know wtf i want in my life. Love, does it even exists? Why do couples say I love you this and that, But end up breaking up? Is that what we call Love?

There's so much things which i feel like blogging out; but I'm afraid it'll cause nothing but trouble. People around me have their own things to do. Why bother, right? My feelings are all mixed up. I don't know whether to feel stress, hurt, disappointment, hatred, happy, or whatsoever feelings you name.

When i think about my family, I realised, they are all selfish people. Mummy and Daddy. Both. If they hadn't do a wrong thing in the past, my life wouldn't end up like this. Why can't couples be happy together eternally? Why must they make life difficult for themselves and their family?

To tell you the truth, I hate working. I hate it. Working and studying is not an easy thing to do. I'm exhausted. Very. Parents doing their job? NO. My mum earns enough, more than enough to be able to support us. But she chose not to do that. What's she's actually paying for, is her household stuffs, and drinking sessions with her friends. Sis tuition? Dad pay. Sis school fees? Dad pay. Mine? Also dad pay. And knowing the situation my dad is, how can i bear to watch him struggle to fork out those money?

Why can't my OWN mother pay sth for us? Do you think i love working? When i told you I wanna quit my job, what did you say? No choice, either you work, or ask your dad for money. WHY CAN'T YOU FFFFING DO STH FOR ME? You complain work tired, what about me?

Having parents now = having no parents. I know it's fucked up saying this, but.. Feel that noone truly cares. Maybe some do, but only that limited. As I'm typing this, I'm actually tearing. Feeling a lil bit of heartache, self pity, and hatred combined together. I don't even know why I'm typing all these shit. But I've been thinking alot about these the past few days.

Jy asked me some questions which left me thinking today. No jy, nothing is gonna happen. I don't expect much from anyone. And yes, I trust people too easily. That's just me. At the end of the day, I get all emo again and again and again. Why? Cause of all those cheaters and heartbreakers around.

Have you ever come across people who says: Don't worry la, no matter what happens, I'll be there for you one. I have, many. But who's there at the point of time when i needed them? Out of 10, there's only 1. Oh well, I'm not trying to prove anything here. There are people whose life are much worser than mine, so why do i still complain? Then let me ask why; why must we always compare ourselves to the bad side instead of the good side?

Don't wanna think anymore. Super emo. Booo. Night peeps.

♥ With LOVE